Stylish Blogger Award

I was awarded my 1st blogger award by Liene over at Femme au foyer for my honest, positive blogging style.

I have to admit that there are times where that is not so easy to do.  Life has thrown us quite a few curve balls this year - Eriks' diagnosis being the big one.  His doctor was put on bed rest due to her pregnancy and is still finishing up the report so that we can start OT which he desperately needs and likely medicine to keep him at an even keel through the day.

All the rooms in the house have now been painted with the exception of some touch up work.  This is a very good thing since Grandma & Grandpa are going to be in town from Texas later this week and are staying with us.  Now it's just a matter of finishing up putting stuff on the walls and away in the storage room.  I am desperately trying to find a china cabinet that I can paint black and put in the dining room.  I have boxes of china and crystal that I would like to start using again.

We had an uneventful weekend.  Put together a desk for the office which Lane is currently using (no class today).  I have not stamped or crafted anything since before we moved up to Indy and I have been itching to do stuff.  Now I have a desk I can sit at and work at during the day.  Watched my Colt$ lose miserably last night.  The head coach needs to go.  Made a fabulous pot roast for dinner last night and had my parents over for dinner.  My dad was over here putting up insulation in our garage where there wasn't any.  I figured I could give him a good dinner for his work (thanks Dad).

Have a good week and I will have some photos of Grandma and Grandpa's visit over the weekend!!

ER Visits - CHD Post

I'm fine.  I have made NO visits to the ER in almost 3 1/2 yrs thankfully.  It's been awhile since I posted something about CHD to all my CHD blog readers and after being woken up at 2:30 am by red flashing lights from an ambulance next door, it made me think about my ER visits.  I found out Friday afternoon when I saw our neighbor's wife outside that he has atrial fib issues and the doctors had made a change to one of his medicines and he didn't deal with it well and went into an A-Fib episode and took a trip to the ER in the middle of the night.  He is fine and she hopes the meds will start working the way they should.

Anyhow, while standing at the window watching the flashing lights, I thought about my 1 ER trip in an ambulance when Lane and I were living near DC.  I was being seen at Johns Hopkins.  Lane was out of town and I was supposed to go pick him up at the airport sometime that evening.  Well, my heart had different ideas.  I went into a pretty bad A-Fib episode that would not go away.  When I was having A-Fib episodes, my doctor told me to take another dose of one of the meds I was on in attempt to slow down the heart rate which would allow it to convert on its own and return to a normal rhythm.  Well it wasn't happening and it was getting bad enough to the point where I had to call 911 and have an ambulance take me since I didn't have anyone else around to do it.

Thinking back on it, it was kind of funny because although our dog at the time Sydney was harmless, I was told by the 911 operator that I had to lock him up when the EMT's arrived.  I felt so bad for him being locked up because he was going to be locked up for quite some time.  But he handled it like a trooper when all was said and done.  It was also fun calling Lane and telling him that he was going to have to take a cab from the airport to the hospital and then a cab home from the hospital.  Those were some expensive cab rides.  After I was loaded up in the ambulance I got the lights and all ride through town.  It was kind of exciting!  Out the back window I could see the cars that had to pull over to let us go by.  The EMT's thought it was pretty weird too that I was in such high spirits considering my 120-150 heart rate and the fact that I looked terrible.  All the color had drained from my face and they told me I looked pretty white.  I told them that A-Fib was no longer anything new to me and I'd learned to take it with a grain of salt.  I knew I was going to be dealing with this for a long time.

After pumping me full of Cardizem/Diltiazem, my heart converted.  I spent the night in the hospital just in case and then Lane got to take me home.

Then there was that one time, Lane was busy with work.  I think he was flying actually.  I did have him called to return because I had another A-Fib episode but instead of calling an ambulance, I drove myself to the ER.  I don't recommend this.  I wasn't feeling that bad and figured I didn't want to deal with an ambulance and the 20 minute drive wasn't that bad.  My mom had a cow.  I swear if she could've, she would've reached through the phone and strangled me for doing it.  I'm sure she tried.

So what's the real purpose of this post?  I guess it's learning how to deal with this stuff as an adult when you have to deal with this when you're no longer living at home.  I had a small handful of ER visits as a kid all for broken bones or sprained ankles, but I never made an ER visit for my CHD.  So when I started having the A-Fib issues, I had to decide when it was time to go to the hospital and how I was going to get there.  Luckily I was married and had my husband around the 1st time I had to make an ER trip because of my CHD.  It wasn't too bad before we adopted Eriks.  Lane was around 99% of the time and could take me to the hospital.  When Eriks came into the picture it became a bit more complicated.  When he was a baby we just took him with us.  As he got older there were times he still went with us and other times we scrambled to find someone to take care of him so that we didn't have to worry about Eriks having to go with us.  Being a military wife, never having family around when I had to go to the hospital was bad.  I highly recommend to other CHDers and parents of CHDers, if you move away from home, make sure you have a strong network of people you can count on if you need help and have to make an unexpected trip to the hospital.  I wish we would've had a long list of people to count on in all the different places we lived.

If any CHDers reading my blog or parents of CHDers have questions to ask me, please email me.  I'd love to do a Q & A blog post sometime.

Apple Orchard

Emi had a day off from school on Monday because of Columbus Day so my mom and I took her about an hour south of where we live to get apples.  We had hoped to pick apples, but we waited too late in the season to do that.  All they had were apples in bags for purchase.  Next year we'll go mid-September instead of waiting.  Unfortunately, with schedules and other stuff going on, we had no choice this year but to wait this long.  Doesn't matter because although we didn't pick apples, we bought them and they are some of the best around.

My mom was introduced to Anderson Orchard by her aunt and uncle years ago.  While driving down my mom and I were talking and she was trying to figure out how the heck they found this place.  But they were notorious for getting in the car and taking drives.  My best guess is that it was either a word of mouth, they saw it on TV, or read about them in the paper.  Uncle Albert loved going to the orchard.  He looked forward to it.  My mom said he would also pick the biggest and prettiest apples he could find.  I miss them both terribly.

Monday was a warm beautiful day.  The weather earlier this week was truly Indian Summer weather.  Low 70's for highs and sunny.  Now it's cold and windy and I'm not liking it much.  The orchard was surprisingly busy but I'm thinking that had a lot to do with the weather.  Emi loved the apple she sampled and made a complete sticky mess of her hands.  She also loved the apple cider we shared.  We came back with apples, cider and mums for the yard.  It was a good day!

Ballerina Emi

A few Saturdays ago while I was cleaning house, my bedroom to be exact, Emi went into her dresser and found the leotard handed down from her cousins and a ballerina skirt that came with a pajama set.  The leotard is honestly too small and I need to get her a new one because she loved that thing and refused to take it off.  The music was going via our satellite TV and she began dancing around.  Unfortunately she was moving so fast that some of the pictures I got were blurry and I wasn't happy about that.  But she makes one stinking cute ballerina and I would like to see how she would do in a dance class.  Maybe when she turns four we will give it a whirl.

Wedding Weekend

I am able to take a deep breath again after much craziness helping my parents' goddaughter with her wedding.  I loved every minute of it but, doing it while taking care of 2 kids, a house and a husband who's in law school is hard impossible!

The bride and groom left for their honeymoon this afternoon and I hope they have a very enjoyable trip.  Eva picked a really great man for her husband and since she is very much a part of our family, we couldn't be happier for her.

The kids are exhausted from the weekend and one of them is actually ill.  I picked Eriks up from school this afternoon and he slept the entire way home.  I took his temperature and attempted to give him a snack while he watched some cartoons on the couch.  As he was getting ready to take a bite of his snack, he dropped it and tried to bolt for the bathroom but didn't make it and ended up puking all over the rug - twice.  Poor kid.  Needless to say, I have one child who will not be attending school tomorrow.  I am praying that he does wake up feeling better and there is no more puking to be had.  I'm battling a cold.  Part of it is the crazy up and down weather and part of it the nonstop running recently (see paragraph 1).

Unfortunately I didn't get any photos of the kids this Saturday at the wedding since they wouldn't stand still.  I can't blame them, it was a rockin' reception.  You'll just have to enjoy some of my favorite wedding photos. I loved taking and editing every one of them!

Finally Breaking the Silence

I've had the official answer since the end of June even though I knew before then what I've known for quite some time.  It's still really hard to talk about it because most people don't understand it.  And I'm not comfortable talking to people and saying, "Emi is deaf and Eriks has Asperger Syndrome."  Although this is a fact, I don't like labeling them or want it to define who they are.  However, I feel more and more like I have to explain the above to people all the time.

I'm sure my regular readers remember posts where I've talked about Eriks' behavior issues and trying to diagnose him.  Originally Dr L diagnosed him with mild AD/HD and then starting seeing behavior that made her change her mind.  So she got a bit more aggressive on testing him and even giving us a fairly intense questionnaire to answer.  When a bunch of our responses starting pointing in one direction she chose to give Eriks an IQ test.  But a different type of IQ test that wouldn't only gauge his intelligence level but also give answers to his behavior patterns.

To make a long story short, his diagnosis was handed down at the end of June.  Eriks has an autism spectrum disorder called Asperger Syndrome.  If you take the time to go to the link, especially if you know him, you will see that many of the behaviors typical of AS, Eriks exhibits.  The ones I see most are: lack of social and emotional empathy, impaired nonverbal behaviors such as eye contact (you can't get him to look at you when you are talking to him if you paid him), engaging in a long-winded and one-sided conversation (he can go on and on about things like you've got nothing better to do than listen to him), fixation on certain topics (he will ask you 10,000 questions about a Star Wars character you know nothing about until he gets the answer he wants to hear), repetitive motor behaviors (he has a pattern of tapping on his fingers over and over again with his thumbs that either starts with the thumbs hitting his pinkies and going to his index finger or vice versa.  It almost mimics a nervous twitch), sensory issues (needing to touch things constantly), light and sound sensitivity and sleep problems are the big ones.  He also has a very exaggerated laugh for things he thinks are absolutely hilarious but the majority of us would think are dull or dumb.

I'm glad that we finally have an answer but I am an OCD person, just ask Lane, and Eriks' AS conflicts with my OCD.  I've always lacked patience because of my OCD and when I am doing something, I don't deal with interruption/disruption well.  Eriks doesn't understand because of his lack of social & emotional skills that there are things that are more important than the story he is telling me.  Another common trait among AS is easy frustration and anger, especially when what the person with AS is trying to articulate is not being understood or there is something that takes priority over their story.  Eriks also gets frustrated when things don't come easily for him, especially school work.  He is very smart.  Based on his IQ test results, he has an IQ of 112, but Dr L also said that because of his lack of long term focus (also common among AS), she honestly thinks that his IQ is probably 118 or 120.  Eriks knows he is smart so he assumes everything needs to come easy.  If it doesn't he gets mad and calls himself dumb.  As a parent this is so hard for me to see because I know it is so untrue.  But you just can't make him understand that.  I easily get frustrated with Eriks because I expect him to understand rules and directions and there are times he just doesn't.

The hardest part is he is socially isolated, especially at school.  Not because he chooses it, but because kids just don't get him.  It breaks my heart when he gets in the car some days and says, "No one wanted to play with me today at recess."  I know sometimes it's because of his AS he expects kids to do what he's interested in and when they want him to join what they're doing and he's not interested then he gets left out and sees it as being rejected by his peers.  There are kids at school that I know really do like him, but probably as I said, just don't get him so in his little mind thinks that they don't like him.

I'm going to wrap this up soon but Dr L was telling us some of the questions on the IQ test she gave Eriks that is given to kids who likely have AS or autism spectrum disorders (ASD) and this one still makes me laugh.  She told us going into her testing of Eriks that you can't give kids you suspect are AS or ASD a typical IQ test the rest of us would take because their brains don't process the info the same way.  One of the questions showed a man sitting on a tree limb with a saw facing the tree getting ready to cut down the limb.  Kids without AS would answer the question by saying that if he cuts the limb off the tree the way he is sitting, he will fall with the limb.  Eriks answer was, and I can't quote it verbatim, was along the lines of, "He shouldn't cut the tree because the tree will die.  Trees make oxygen and people need oxygen to breath and stay alive.  So cutting the tree is very bad for the environment and for people."  Dr L said that was a VERY typical AS answer.  It wasn't so much that the guy would end up falling and hurting himself but what was more important was how he was damaging the tree.

One of the best treatments for AS is OT (occupational therapy).  It helps kids with AS become more sensitive to others.  I'm not 100% sure what other benefits it has because we're still trying to get the final report from Dr L's office and recommendations for specific types of OT.

Living with Eriks puts a lot of stress on me since he demands so much attention due to his AS.  He physically drains me daily.  I know a lot of who Eriks is isn't because he had a choice in it, but at times all the time, I don't understand why he's refuses to accept my answers or argues with me.  He has it in his mindset that he can make his own rules.  He doesn't think before he does things, also a common AS symptom and disruptive to my OCD ways.  He'll get on his bike and head to a neighbor kids house before he would ask permission or even say, "I'm getting on my bike and going to so-and-so's house."  This goes back to the social insensitivity to others. This has happened several times when he's gone out to play in the backyard and I peek out the window to check on him and he's not there.  I go out and call for him but there's no answer and see the open gate and know he's wandering the neighborhood.  I have gone into a panic not knowing where he is because it's difficult for me to drag Emi all over the neighborhood looking for him.  It's scary and I don't wish this for anyone.

OK, I could probably write pages and pages about this so I need to save some for later as the OCD me tries to deal with understanding and learning to deal with Eriks and AS.  Besides what I've read about AS, I have no clue as to how to be a parent to a child with AS.  Someone recommended a book to me written by another mother of a child with AS.  I need to get my hands on it.

It's going to be a long journey for us as we learn how to deal with Eriks' behaviors and I hope that those who know him will begin to understand him better now that the news is out in the open.

Coming or Going???

Yeah, I haven't figured it out either.  I have been a bad blogger because my life is utter chaos right now and I'm hoping to have it back under control in a few weeks.

It all started when Eriks went back to school about a month ago.  After we got him in school we were in a feverous pitch to get Emi where she needed to be.  That did not come easy.  Although I spent a few years of my K-12 schooling in public schools, I can clearly see why my parents chose private schools when they could and why Lane and I from the start decided we wanted our kids in private schools.  I'm going to condense this as best as I can.  We found out when Indiana.School for the Deaf started classes and went directly to them to get Emi registered for their Pre-K program because we found out that there is no program like what she had in GA in any of the county schools.  We were told by I.S.D. that we had to have permission from our school system to send her there.  Seriously???  I was beyond ticked off.  So we set up a conference with Westfield.Washington Schools to discuss what would best meet Emi's needs even though I knew exactly what she needed.  We spent nearly 90 minutes going back and forth.  The school system was convinced they could accommodate Emi even though they couldn't guarantee the intense speech therapy she needed nor was there anyone who could sign to her.  If it weren't for her BCA (bone-conductive aid) she would be completely deaf.  There are times where she will be unable to wear it - bathing, swimming, etc and she will need ASL for communication.  Lane and I couldn't get that across to the school system.  They were so in the mindset that if she has a hearing aid now, she's fine and needs to be in a regular classroom.  We held firm and said that what they had to offer Emi was not good enough.  They finally let us have our way.  It was frustrating and infuriating.  I am not happy with our school system at all and thankful Eriks is in a private school.  I pray that Emi never has to go to a public school in our school system so long as we live in this house.  Anyhow, Emi finally started school on Monday and loves it!  It's amazing that just a few days of signing and speech again gives her the motivation to start signing and talking again.  Not to say she wasn't doing it at all.  But she loves school and has wanted to go back all summer.  I know she misses Jenna, Karen and Lauren so much, but is enjoying her new teacher.

I have gone through medical h-e-l-l trying to set up specialists for myself.  As much as I liked the cardiologist and nurse practitioner at Emory, I hated Emory itself.  I wouldn't recommend anyone seek medical services there at all.  I'm sure there are many wonderful Dr's there, but the support staff and administration stinks!  I needed more test strips for a machine I use to check my blood.  Similar to a glucose meter but it's to check the thickness of my blood.  My CHD followers will understand INR levels.  The clinic there would not approve more test strips since I no longer lived in the area even though until I see the new cardiologist, I'm still a patient there.  I could choose to travel there, but I'm not going to.  I called my new cardio's office and explained the situation and we're working on getting it taken care of.  So very, very thankful.  It has definitely been stress I don't need.  I was in tears over this last week.  If I don't check it every 4 weeks I could be putting myself at risk for a stroke or a bleed.

Lane's crazy busy with school leaving me dealing with pretty much everything.  This is so not what I signed up for but the 1st year of law school is the hardest.  We had the water heater replaced today.  It's the 3rd one this 13 yr old house has had.  Why the previous owners didn't have an expandable water heater before, we have no idea.  Thankfully most of it was covered under the home warranty we insisted upon when we bought the house.  Our fridge broke last week.  Yeah, after 2 months the fridge went out.  Repair guy came out Monday and yesterday to replace one of the 3 motherboards that control it and it's not a motherboard issue.  It's an internal issue that probably occurred during manufacturing.  So now I'm waiting on Sam$ung to approve replacement even though the fridge is under warranty.  Meanwhile I'm going to the store almost daily because it's not in fridge/freezer in the garage.  Thank gawd for the backup or I would've lost a lot of groceries.  I have always loved my Sam$ung electronics and appliances but this really bites.  It's a brand new model they recently rolled out too!

When it rains, it pours!!!

I know there's more stuff that I should talk about but I'm out of time.  Too much to do and kids need to be picked up from school in just over an hour.

Hopefully I'll be back soon with some photos, etc.

No Fear

My daughter may be deaf.  At 3 1/2 she may hardly be able to speak because of the combination of deafness and the repair of her cleft lip/palate but nothing, I mean nothing keeps this kid away from water.  Since moving back to Indiana we have spent our fair share of time in my parent's pool.  Last year was Emi's first real swimming experience in a pool.  The year we brought her home, we didn't get in a pool at all.  She was a little apprehensive last summer.  She pretty much just hung out on the steps and absolutely disliked the baby float.  She was somewhat OK in our arms but we needed to stay where it was shallow.  Towards the end of last summer she got more brave and we were hopeful.  This summer she is crazy in the pool.

As a matter of fact, just yesterday she was wearing her water wings and decided to take them off and jump straight in.  Mind you she can't touch the bottom.  She's still too short.  Eriks was in the pool so he helped her but she is well on her way to learning to swim.  After jumping in, she did shoot herself back to the surface and was trying to kick to stay afloat.  The problem is she doesn't want to use her hands to help her swim forward. With the water wings she is jumping into the 8 ft deep end of the pool and loving every minute of it.  Jumping into the water is her thing.

So here's praying she'll be swimming by next summer without water wings.  Enjoy the photos from Emi's water fun this summer.

A Week in Paradise

It's been more than a month since our trip so I figure it's about time to blog about it.  I've been busy this week with sending Lane off to law school and Eriks off to his new school.  Both of them seem pretty happy with their new surroundings.  Although Lane is concerned about balancing family, school and studying but I think in a few weeks he'll have a groove going and it'll be fine.  Eriks really likes his new school.  Although it's a haul from our house (luckily it's close to where Lane goes to school so he can take him in the morning), he is in a very small class.  Only 9 second graders total.  I think the whole school only has about 70 students.  So I'm happy that he's happy.  We'll see how things are in a few weeks when he's got a bit more school work to do.

So mid-July, Lane and I took an early 15 yr wedding anniversary trip to Riviera Maya, Mexico.  We stayed at a very nice all-inclusive adults-only resort.  It was pure relaxation.  Most mornings we woke up between 9 and 10.  And most mornings we skipped breakfast and went straight down to the pool.  I often started the day with the non-alcoholic beverage of the day.  Of course it wasn't long after that I'd move on to a pina colada or some other fruity beverage with alcohol.  At some point we'd wander to one of the restaurants at the resort and have lunch.  Then it was back to the pool.  Lane and I would hang out at the pool until about 5ish and then head back to the room to get ready for dinner.  It was humid enough while we were there that the majority of the time I actually wore my hair curly.  So in the photos I will post you will actually see my curly hair.

Some of the restaurants at the resort were really good.  Others I wasn't too impressed by but the food was edible.  Our favorite was the Japanese restaurant.  We ate dinner their twice.  Usually we'd have to wait for a table so they give out pagers that work to my knowledge all over the resort but we'd sit at the martini bar and sip cocktails until our table was ready.  I found a love of lemon drop martinis and both Lane and I found that we like gin martinis as well.  Every night the resort had entertainment of some sort as well.  A show, a band, etc.


Some of the interesting parts of the trip were seeing an interesting naked guy standing on his balcony at the resort next door while we were eating lunch one day.  Another highlight was that the resort gift shop actually sold Via.gra.  I guess in Mexico you don't need a prescription for it.  And a waiter that looked like he could've been Obama's twin brother.  Lane and I actually joked that being a waiter was Obama's real job.  He was just moonlighting as the president.

We loved every bit of our vacation.  We relaxed, we got to catch up on some sleep.  I can't wait to do it again.  Enjoy the photos!

 Super big lizard on the sidewalk across from our balcony.  His tail must have been close to 18 inches long.

 Pool view from our balcony.  There were tons of pools to choose from.

 On the left is a gin martini and on the right is my lemon drop martini.

 See, I have curly hair.

 Drinks poolside.  We kept them coming all day!  Loved it!

 Cool fountain they had on the grounds.

 President O.bama doing his real job.  

 Tequila shots the last day before we took the shuttle to the airport.  It was very yummy!  Should've had another one!

And finally, the Via.gra in the gift shop.  

15 Years Ago Today...

Lane and I exchanged vows in a chapel in Las Vegas.  The elopement wasn't completely planned.  It happened when I found out my insurance company would not pay for the heart surgery I needed.  We were engaged to be married and planned on getting married in May of 1997.  My health wasn't exactly where we wanted it to be and knew that surgery was necessary.  So sometime in July, Lane and I decided my health was more important and his insurance plan would cover me.  So we semi-quietly got married.  Our immediate family knew and a few close friends but not anyone else.  We had the wedding we still wanted to have in May as planned.

It's still hard to believe that after only knowing Lane for 8 1/2 months, I married him.  We met at a wedding in December of 1995 and started dating in February.  He proposed in June and we got married in August.  Lane and I dated long-distance our entire relationship.  I'm one of those few people that can say, "He proposed on our 3rd date."  Lane is one of the best things that has happened to me and has a person with a serious CHD, he has been the rock I've needed through all the ups and downs of this disease.  My parents were good supporters when I was younger, but as I got older, I think they felt as though they still had to protect me like they did when I was a child.  Parents of CHD patients are always so fearful when it comes to their special kids.  With Lane, at the age of 27, I rode my first roller coaster.  My parents would've never allowed me to.  Even after I told my mom what I did and how much I loved it I got a lecture.  Lane has let me decide what I want to do unless of course he thinks it's a serious danger.  Unfortunately my roller coaster days ended 5 yrs ago when I had my ICD placed.  I'm still bitter about that.

Fifteen years passes in the blink of an eye.  There is no better person for me to spend those 15 yrs with than Lane.  I am truly a blessed woman to have such a wonderful man willing to take care of me when I'm at my worst.  Someone who time and time again has held my hand as I'm a tangle of wires and IV's and have a breathing tube down my throat.  He has put up with my OCD ways and my craziness.  He even loves me when I'm angry with him.  And I love him for all that he is, all that he has, and all that he has sacrificed for me.  Love you Lane!  Happy Anniversary!