She Turned 3!

Last Thursday Emi hit the big 3!  I looked at her today and wondered how this little creature who was placed in my arms 1 day shy of 17 months, has become this big girl.  She's still a tiny, petite thing and likely will be her entire life, but she's not a baby anymore.  She can dress herself.  Loves to button and zip and put on her shoes (all velcro fasteners for now).  She has become so independent and wants our help less and less. 

We didn't do anything super special for her birthday.  With it being a school night, we decided to put off going out to eat to Friday.  So I made a dinner of chicken, roasted potatoes, and green beans.  We also didn't do a traditional cake.  For the 4 of us it's kind of crazy to buy or make a big cake.  I had heard about this bakery in Marietta and decided to give it a whirl.  Emi had a very yummy strawberry shortcake.  Eriks wanted New York cheesecake.  Lane and this mousse cake and I had a to die for red velvet cake.  I told Lane for my birthday, I wanted a red velvet birthday cake from this place.  It was so crazy good.  We all sampled each others desserts.  Emi got some more Ameri*can Girl doll stuff for her birthday.  She loves, loves, loves that baby doll her Aunt Marla & Uncle Corey got her.  

Her vocabulary is growing and today, she started a pre-K program for kids who are deaf/hearing impaired.  Getting up at 6 was very HARD.  Emi and I would snuggle in bed watching Playhouse Di$ney in the mornings until about 8:30ish and then eat breakfast and get dressed.  To be more exact, she'd watch while I snoozed some more.  School starts at 7:50 and we have to be out the door at 7:10 because it's about a 20-25 minute drive to the school.  We do have the option of bus but she has to be on the bus like at 6:45 and that's just way too early.  I'd rather drive her.  It was kind of hard this morning for both of us.  She was so excited this morning to take her backpack and lunch box.  She yammered in the car the entire drive there.  But once we got there, she wasn't so sure.  She got super quiet.  I stayed for about an hr.  She kept looking back at me to make sure I was there.  But when they stopped learning to have some center time, that's when I left.  I watched her in the kitchen/house area with a vacuum and sneaked out.  I just hope she didn't cry when she noticed I was no longer there. 

Luckily her day is only about 6 hrs long with a 1 hr nap time which should be starting right about now (12:15 pm).  School ends at 2 pm.  Again, this is so good for her because she's not only learning ASL, but they are encouraging her to use her voice and with her vocabulary growing, that voice needs to grow too.  I'm hoping that by the time the official school year ends, she'll be starting to talk to us in more complete sentences.  Or at least 3 - 4 word phrases.  She has the opportunity for summer learning which, while we are here still, she will do.  She has so much catching up to do and I want her expressive language to be closer to a 3 yr old's and not a 12 month old's.  She's behind in receptive language too, but not as much as expressive.

Time to show off some photos from the birthday girl's big day. 

Sydney

I spent about 5 minutes trying to come up with the title for this post and finally went for simple.  Why did it take me 5 minutes?  Well, I didn't know how to title a post about what I'm about ready to talk about.  I'm still not handling it well.  There's a piece of my life that's gone.  Missing.  And I won't ever get him back.

On December 23rd, our beloved black Labrador retriever, Sydney, died in his sleep.  We knew his time was coming.  Life was getting more difficult for him.  After all, he was 13.5 yrs old.  If we do the calculations as to how old he was in dog years, he was almost 108.  He lived a long, full life and for that we are thankful.  However, we had hoped that he would've waited until after the holidays to die.  We are also thrilled that we did not have to make the decision to put him to sleep and take his life from him.  I couldn't imagine having to be in the position to do that.  I have to give kuddos to those of you who had to make that very difficult decision.

I cried until I was exhausted.  And then the next day, I got horribly ill and was sick for the next few weeks.  What a way to spend Christmas.

We got Sydney when he was about 12 weeks old.  He was the dominant dog in his litter and he showed that throughout most of his life.  We were living in Mississippi when we received him from the breeder.  When he arrived at the airport he was actually very, very sick.  The airplane made a stop that the breeder was not informed of and was unloaded onto the hot tarmack and given a bucket full of water.  The heat and the water made him very sick and when I met him at the airport, he was having seizures.  I found out where the nearest vet was and took him there.  The vet didn't know what was going to happen to him.  The doctor informed us that he could die.  He could have serious brain damage.  He could have seizures the rest of his life but they were going to do everything they could.  They started an IV and were administering fluids.  I ended up going home to wait.  Later that afternoon, I got a call from the vet.  He said something along the lines of, "Ma'am, I've never seen this before.  He was seizing and we tried to do what we could.  We finally made the decision to try a dose of glucose.  Within minutes his seizures stopped.  He stood up and started looking at us like, 'Hey, what's up?'.  It's as though nothing was wrong with him.  We want to monitor him overnight.  But you can come get him in the morning."  Syd never had another seizure and had absolutely no brain damage.  He was so excited when we came to pick him up.  Life with Syd went on from there.

Syd was a dumpster diver as we called him.  Even up until a few days before he died, he'd stick his nose in the trash can looking for goodies.  One of the funniest memories I have of him was when he was about 4 months old.  We had a wooded area behind our house and all of a sudden we see this puppy dragging this 8 foot long tree limb by his mouth across our back yard.  This limb was about 5 times his size but he had no problems bringing it to us.  It's almost as if he was trying to say, give this one a toss for me!

Syd was always a gentle easy going dog.  When Eriks was a baby he'd climb all over him and Syd could've cared less.  He always had this, "meh - whatever" look on his face when Eriks was messing with him.

Life is so weird without him.  Almost wrong.  I walk by the stairs and look up in hopes of seeing him laying there at the top.  He loved having a bird's eye view of the house.  I miss the sound of his tags clinking together when he scratched or shook himself out after standing up.  I miss his bark.  I miss the way he'd cock his head when you asked him if he wanted to go for a walk or if he wanted food.  I miss his smell.  The sound of his breathing.  It's amazing how attached we get.  When he died, it felt like a piece of me died.

We got his remains back from cremation about 10 days ago.  He sits on our mantle for now.  We might find a different place for him when we move.  For now though, it's nice that he's in a prominent place and I can look at him every time I walk by.  Getting him back in his wooden box really made his death final.  After we took him to the vet for cremation, I did spend about 30 minutes saying goodbye to him there.  I so badly just wanted to get up on the table with him and lay down and hold him.  The next day, I felt guilty.  Weird I know.  But I felt like I didn't spend enough time saying goodbye and I felt a little bit like I had abandoned him.

Gabby our other dog has been quite mopey since his death.  She's lost her companion.  When we leave the house she stands at the door between the house and the garage and has this horrible look of disappointment on her face about being left alone.  She's getting better but I know she's wondering why he's gone and why he's not coming back.

Syd, wherever you are, we loved you so very, very much.  You will always be a part of us.  You were one of the best things that happened to us and we will cherish every memory we have of you.  You endured so much with us including 5 moves and always easily adapted to your new surroundings.  Thank you for the 13.5 years you were with us.  You made our lives more complete with your companionship and unconditional love.  We will meet you again one day on the other side of the Rainbow Bridge.

"Blizzard"

I will get back to catching up on things that happened over the past few weeks but had to blog about the 5 inches of snow we got last night and the fun the kids had in it earlier today. 

Snow is such a rarity here in the South.  And usually if we do get it, it's just a dusting.  Nothing to write home about.  However, the snow we received is a completely different story.  It came down hard and fast.  It's been a long time since I've seen that much snow fall in that short of an amount of time.  It was breathtakingly beautiful even though it was dark outside. 

The entire metro area has shut down for the day.  There are virtually no cars going in and out of my neighborhood.  There have been a few people on ATVs going here and there.  It is seriously like a blizzard has hit.  I know all my northern friends are cackling in disbelief that 5 inches shuts down the city.  I know if I were home in Indy, I would be out and about and school likely wouldn't have been shutdown for the day.  Possibly delayed, but not closed. 

I am going ot be so sad when it melts.  The kids have loved it.  Emi did not want to come in for lunch and it wasn't easy getting Eriks to stop asking this morning when he was going to be able to go out and play.  I called my mom and said a big 'Thank You' for the snow pants she bought the kids.  They came in handy and kept the kids nice and dry while they rolled around in the front yard.  And I'm truly my mother's daughter.  Lane and I cleared the patio out back, the walkway, driveway and sidewalk of snow.  I don't want to have to trudge through it.  Nor do I want other people to have to do it either.  Plus adding it to my front yard means that the kids have more of it to play with. 

Hopefully the kids will get more play time before it all goes away.

 I love this photo!  She decided to pull a typical silly Emi face while we were getting snow clothes on before going outside.

 Eriks was doing some serious snow lounging.  He tried to make snow angels but it wasn't working because he couldn't break through the light layer of ice on top of the snow.

Had to throw in the obligatory photo of me.

Eriks' Birthday Party

Happy New Year Everyone!!  We had a very rough end to 2010 but I will discuss that in another post in the future.  Eriks went back to school today after a little over a 2 week break from school.  I'm happy but sad that the winter break drew to a close.  Our Christmas decorations are still up and will come down this weekend.  They haven't even been up a month and I'd like them to hand around a little bit longer.

Eriks had his birthday party the weekend before his birthday.  The reason we decided to do this is because his birthday fell on the Friday winter break started and my guess was that many people were going to start their holiday traveling that weekend and/or preparing for company.  We decided it would be best to not have his birthday party then for fear that a number of his friends would not be able to come.  Even on the weekend we did have his birthday just over 1/2 of the kids Eriks invited attended.  Mid-December is not a good time to have a birthday.  I'm thinking in the future we may start having 1/2 birthday parties in the summer when kids are out of school and more readily available for parties.  Plus it will give Eriks the opportunity to have a birthday party when it's warm!

Eriks chose to have his birthday at a bounce place.  The staff there was fantastic.  They did all the set up, clean up, running the party, etc.  All we had to do was show up, provide cake and pay for it.  So worth it!  The 14 kids in attendance had a blast.  They were all drenched in sweat after bouncing their little hearts content.  They then gobbled down pizza and cake and watched Eriks open presents.  In my opinion this is the best birthday party Eriks has had.  He couldn't stop talking about it.  Here are some photos of the event.

 Eriks wanted a Ben_10 cake so he got it!

 I tried to get a good photo of all the kids but it's impossible

to get 14 kids who have been bouncing for 1 hr and 20 minutes

to sit still enough for a photo!

 A very sweaty birthday boy!

Will Start Catching Up Soon

It's been a VERY hectic 3 weeks that I've just begun to wrap my head around now that life is calming down a bit.  It started out with Eriks birthday party and ended with Christmas.  There's quite a bit that happened in between including a visit from grandparents, loss, our own trip...

I'm hoping tomorrow I can post about Eriks birthday party.  Thanks for being patient.  My New Year's resolution is to be a better blogger.  Among other things.

Christmas Funk

I used to never feel this way.  This is the 3rd year running that I have not been excited for the holidays.  I blame it on the move to Georgia 1 week before Christmas in 2008.  We showed up here around the 16th of December.  The house was filled with boxes that would not be unpacked in a hurry.  As much as I wanted to get unpacked, we had to pack suitcases to go up to Indiana for the holidays.  Even once we got to my parents house the spirit wasn't there.  The past few weeks prior had been a whirlwind of Lane leaving his job in Arkansas, Eriks finishing the semester at his school, packers, movers, etc.  Life was a complete blur.  I was also having a hard time leaving my home.  A home that I actually still own.  It was so warm and inviting.  It smelled fantastic every time I walked in the door.  The walls were painted warm, happy colors.  The house we live in now has this bland doctor's office beige on ALL the walls.  We could have painted but it's not our house.  We rent it and it would mean we'd have to paint the walls back when we move out.  No thank you.  I wish we had had more time to look for a rental but also in the winter, there's not much to pick from so we picked the house that we thought would be the best for us.  The house has some problems that the landlord is in no hurry to take care of - including the roof that leaks above our master bedroom.  The roof needs to be replaced but he's trying to figure out ways to just limp it along.  I don't get that considering the landlord is planning on moving into the house after we move out so I don't know how long he's going to put up with a leaking roof if he doesn't take care of it before we move out.  I've spent the past 2 years trying to make it feel like home but it's not.  It never will be and it hurts that I never could.  We have 6 months left in this house and then life takes us down a whole new road.

At this time last year I found out that the battery in my pacemaker was almost dead and I would have to have a new one put in so right after the New Year I went and had it replaced.  I was worried and couldn't look past the worry and get excited about Christmas.  And I should've been.  My daughter was finally home from China after a long wait.  I had may kids and my husband, what more could I want, right? 

This year we've dealt with a lot with Eriks.  We're still waiting for answers and if I talk about it, I'll get angry.  So I will leave it at that.  My pain issues over the past few months have made life on certain days absolutely miserable.  Today is one of those days.  I'm hurting a lot today.  I spent 2 hours waiting to see my doctor on Tuesday to be told, "We'll do some blood work."  Well DUH!!!  I could've told you it would take blood work to figure it out.  I was furious I waited 2 hours and wasted my time.  In the 14 years I have been married to Lane, this is the 1st place I've ever lived and had to wait more than 45 minutes to see doctors.  Seriously, if you have medical issues and you want good health care and short waits, don't move to Atlan.ta.  I have seen specialists at Johns.Hopkins, M@yo Clinic and U.C.Los.Angeles which are 3 of the top medical facilities in the country.  Not a single wait over 30-45 minutes at any of these facilities.  I'm always waiting here.  I end up wasting half my day or more going to the doctor here.  With my pain issues getting things done has been difficult.  When I'm hurting I don't want to do anything.  And we all know how crazy things are this time of the year.  Not only do you have all your normal tasks to complete you have about 1000 more on top of that!

Lane got strep throat almost 2 weeks ago and wouldn't go to the doctor until 5 days after he started complaining about it.  By that time, he had shared it with me and last weekend I spent my Sunday morning at the urgent care clinic rather than at church with my family.  It's going to be awhile before he gets to live this one down since he knows that when I get sick, I get really sick.  That's why it's important to go to doctor ASAP.  I don't need to contract it.

I realize my life as a military spouse is about to come to an end.  Not that I really care.  I think I'm actually feeling relief that my life won't be controlled anymore by Uncle.Sam.  But I'm worried about Lane going to law school.  What if it's not really what he wanted to do or he finds he doesn't like it?  I'm concerned about living on less money and making sure all the bills get paid.  What do we do if after 3 years of law school no one wants to hire Lane?  Lane knows I feel this way.  This is really the only thing about life after the military that scares me. 

I was also dealt some blows with a few of our animals this year.  Syd, our 13, almost 14 yr old lab was diagnosed with laryngeal paralysis this fall.  We can't travel without him because it could be so severe that it could kill him.  I don't want him dying in a kennel while I'm off on vacation.  I could never live with myself if that happened.  Luckily the episodes that cause the paralysis aren't happening too often but there could be a day when they do happen frequently.  Then the day before Thanksgiving we got the news that George, my 13 yr old kitty is in the early stages of kidney disease (kidney failure).  We had to put him on this expensive prescription food so his kidneys don't have to work so hard.  The vet is optimistic that he'll live another 3 yrs but there's no guarantee.  We'll have to do routine blood work every 6 months to check his kidney function.  Those of you who know me well know George is my baby.  There are days I love him more than Lane.  I think it has to do with the fact that he doesn't argue back.  I could have the worst day in the world and he'll curl up into my lap and make it a little better.  And he's super weird.  An oddball, just like me. 

The tune "Where Are You Christmas?" by Faith.Hill has been running through my head.  So where are you?  Why can't I find you?  This has always been my favorite time of year.  I love Christmas more than my birthday.  I'm praying that next year my Christmas spirit will be back in full swing.  I'm hoping the move does me good.  I will miss those who I met and became friends with here but it's not home.  My heart doesn't live here.  I'm hoping it lives in Indiana. 

Giving Thanks

It was just a quiet Thanksgiving here at our house this year.  I cooked for the four of us but made enough food to feed 14 or more.  The leftovers were good while they lasted!  The kids watched a little bit of that big parade in NYC and decided to make up a marching band of their own.  It was stinking cute watching them build instruments and then march around the house.

Around 2:30 after hours of cooking, we sat down to eat our delicious meal of turkey, dressing, potatoes, green bean casserole, rolls and homemade cranberry sauce.  Not really trying to toot my own horn but I was proud of myself for making everything from scratch.  Well, except for the rolls.  I was not going to take time to do bread.  I thank Pills.bury for doing the work there!

We spent the rest of the day watching football, talking to family on the phone and eating dessert.  It was nice to spend our last Thanksgiving as a military family by ourselves.  It's hard to believe that this time next year we will be back in Indiana having Thanksgiving with family there. 

Hope you all had a great Thanksgiving with your families!

Pain

I haven't been myself lately.  It started about 3 months ago or so and has progressively gotten worse.  I brushed it off at first and when it began to get worse, I chalked it up to the changing seasons.  The weather was getting cooler and thought my stiffer joints was weather related and once I got acclimated to the cooler temps, I'd be OK.  How wrong I have been.  I'm still hurting and the pain is getting worse.

So let me rewind a little bit.  A few weeks after we returned home from our 2 1/2 weeks in IN visiting with family, friends and Eriks attending camp I started to wake up with sore, stiff feet.  At first I kind of thought maybe my plantar fasciitis was back since it hurt to walk.  But the pain wasn't in the muscle(s) on the bottom sides of my feet where plantar fasciitis occurs.  The pain was more in my toes, my ankles and the tops of my feet.  After a week or so, the pain subsided so I thought it was gone, whatever it was.  Then on random days I'd wake up again with stiff feet.  Then I began to think that maybe I was positioning my feet in weird ways while I was sleeping.  I am a rather awkward sleeper who puts herself in strange positions while I sleep because for me they're comfortable.  Also after having my sternum cut in half twice to have heart surgery, finding positions that support my chest while I sleep have been key.  It's amazing how not being able to put weight on a rib cage that has been wired shut when you sleep has you finding interesting and comfortable ways to sleep.  I still can't sleep full on my chest it hurts and the wires are still wrapped around my sternum.  It will take years and years for them to disintegrate.  I actually use a small travel-size pillow to support my chest when I sleep.

Not long after that I started waking up with a stiff neck, shoulder and back pain.  Luckily this has gone away for the most part so I'm not really sure they are correlated.  However, there are days from time to time that I wake up with back & neck pain so severe it causes migraines.  Luckily it's been a few weeks since the last time I had the back & neck pain.

Fast forward to 3 weeks or so ago.  The foot pain has gotten worse.  At the end of October or early November there was about 2-3 days straight where the pain was so intense in one of my feet that it was radiating up my leg to my knee and my hip.  I was hobbling on it severely.  Sleeping was nearly impossible and after 2 days of very little sleep, I just broke down.  It got a bit better but in my left leg the pain is constant in my foot, ankle and knee.  Sometimes my hip gets bothered.  It varies from day to day.  The right foot and ankle are sore but so far, no extensive radiating up the leg.  When all this happened I also began noting pain in my hands when I woke up.  It was stiffness and not easy to grasp my fingers into a fist.  Well the stiffness in my hands has not gone away at all.  I'm trying to spend less time on the computer but it seems as though almost everything I do requires me using my hands.  Opening things with lids has become difficult.  And of course my husband has to close everything tightly so there are times it's really difficult for me to open things.  I'm finding when Lane is home, I'm handing off more and more for him to open.  Why cause pain when I don't have to.

Since the pain has gotten worse and I'm realizing it's not going away, I finally called the doctor.  Bad news is I can't get in until Dec 7th.  So I have about 2 weeks until I can get seen.  My best guess is that I've developed arthritis.  But that's just a guess. 

Being in pain really stinks.  I don't think anyone, Lane included really knows how much I hurt.  I've been hiding it.  Unfortunately, the pain has caused me to become really impatient.  Especially with the kiddos and I hate it.  I don't want them to see that I hurt.  I don't want them to see me wince as I go up and down the stairs.  I'm really cursing the 2 story house we're renting because of the stairs and because the idiot who designed the floor plan made the stairs extremely steep.  I've always cursed the steep stairs but even more so now. 

When I have my answers, I'll post them.  Just send lots of patience my way so I can get through the next few weeks.

Been a Few Weeks

Not much has happened within the past few weeks so that's why I've been MIA.  The weather for early November has been glorious.  Our temps have been in the low to mid 70's for the most part.  Today however it's 55 and rainy.  But I can't complain about the rain.  We have a severe shortage of rain for the year.  From what I know we're in the neighborhood of 8-10 inches behind in the precipitation department.  The rain that will fall today and tomorrow is very, very welcome. 

Emi is getting more into role playing.  She's spending more time cooking at her kitchen, rocking her babies and playing with her dollhouse.  It's so cute to see her cover up her babies and put her finger in front of her mouth in a shushing gesture.  Then she makes the sign for sleep.  Emi is also into everything!  Her latest is she's gone onto our desktop computer and renamed a bunch of files that we now have to figure out what they are.  The result is that our computer is now password protected so she can't just climb up, jump on and start clicking away.  Never underestimate the intelligence of a 2 yr old.  We didn't have this issue with Eriks so we didn't think Emi would cause trouble either.  WRONG!

We have one really great piece of news to share.  It involves this:

  

On Saturday, Lane received his acceptance letter for law school.  He'll be starting next fall.  We're moving back to Indiana next summer definitely now.  We were about 95% sure but of course nothing was final until we got word that he got in.  Now we're house hunting.  Scary!  After a 15 yr absence, I'm going home next June.  It's definitely weird to know that we won't be moving every 3 yrs anymore.  In the 40 some years Lane has been alive he will no longer be a nomad.  He grew up a military brat and then joined after college.  Even in college he was a nomad because he was in a work study program splitting his time between TX & NM.  The kids, well at least Eriks because Emi doesn't quite understand yet, are excited.  He's ready to be with his cousins and grandparents. 

Can't believe Thanksgiving is next week.  Emi's up from her nap.  Time to go get her!

Halloween 2010

Emi & Eriks had a blast this Halloween!  Last year Emi was just about 20 months when she went trick or treating and really wasn't super sure.  This year she started out slow and wasn't super sure what to do for the first 2-3 houses but caught on super quick.  It was funny to watch her chase Eriks up to the door.  No matter how much we told Eriks to slow down and wait for his sister he wasn't having any of it.  So Lane had to go to the door with her.  My mom came down this weekend so she stayed at our house passing out candy while we took the kids around the neighborhood.  It was nice since it was the 1st time EVER we've both been out with our kids.  Next year we'll be back in Indy and we'll be able to take the kids to my parents house for trick or treating. 

Digging through her treats for more candy!