I am completely exhausted right now. I am trying to get my house decent for next weekend which is going to be completely chaotic with activity - mostly Lane's graduation from law school. It's also our wedding anniversary which I doubt we'll really be able to enjoy or celebrate thanks to graduation and other activities. So I assume it'll just be kind of swept under the rug this year and at this point I don't care.
Why is it children can't clean their stuff up? Really? I know, I wasn't perfect and neither was my room often. I shoved stuff under the bed and in the closet. But when my mom told me to pick up and put away my stuff, I usually did. I'll give them warnings that it's time to clean up because dinner will be ready in 5 minutes. They totally ignore me and go on their way. They come inside from school or wherever they've been and just drop their stuff on the floor for me to trip over. This morning alone I think I told them 5 times to pick their jackets up off the kitchen floor and put them away. Did they do it? Nope. Maybe if I had Mary Poppins' magic powers of snapping her fingers in the nursery scene and everything just starts flying up off the floor and into the toy box or closet, etc, my kids would love it and want to do it too. Real life doesn't work that way.
Unfortunately as much as I love my husband, he's no great example for the kids. The office that we're supposed to share and I never enter anymore is completely trashed with stuff all over the floor and desk. And other areas of the house that he has stuff in, he's not great at organizing. I'm just frustrated that the 2 or 3 minutes it would take to do something, not a single one of my family members takes the time to do it. They're just so in the mindset of, "Mom will do it." I'm ready to go on strike again I am so pissed off about this. You make a food on the counter and spill something you wipe it up. It's not that hard!
I told my kids this morning after the jacket incident that I'm giving them until the end of the day to clean their stuff up. If there's anything of theirs out at the end of the day that shouldn't be, then it will be sold on Ebay that I will put towards a vacation fund for me, myself and I because dammit, mom's deserve some alone time.
I am tired of cleaning up a room and an hour later it's completely trashed again. I did not sign up to be a 24-hour a day maid service. I understand it's my job as a mom and wife to take care of my house and my family, but this is beyond what I expected. I'm about to lose my sanity because I have no time to myself or take care of my needs. There are times that I wonder what it would be like to just walk away from it all and put what I want ahead of everyone else. I know I haven't put myself 1st since before I got married. After Lane and I married we had to answer to the government and what they wanted of him.
Maybe that's why I'm so resentful of my husband and kids right now. For the 3 of them it's all about, "Me, me, me." Lane's focused on school and looking for a job. And the kids...well, we all know kids are just selfish and most of the time don't care about what anyone else needs or wants except for themselves. But just occasionally it would be nice if one day the 3 of them came to me and said, "Don't worry, we'll clean the house, we'll make all the meals today. You just sit back and relax and do nothing." Wishful thinking, but a girl can dream can't she?
I warned you my posts weren't always going to pretty. This is one of them. Back to taking care of everyone else because I guess that's what I'm expected to do. Be the doting wife and mom. Now I see why alcoholism is becoming a huge problem among young moms. Saw this story covered by one of the big national news channels...NBC, CBS, ABC...one of them. Women get together and drink while their kids play because there is so much pressure on them to be the perfect wife and mother that has it all together. They talked to several moms that at the end of the day after the kids were in bed, they'd uncork the wine and by the time they went to bed, they'd drink the entire bottle. Sometimes more. It became their way to deal with the stress of motherhood and life. I don't drink much because I don't like the way it makes me feel if I drink to much. I have enough other problems to deal with and I know my health issues wouldn't tolerate it well. But if I didn't have to worry about that, who knows, maybe I'd become one of those moms. I definitely feel the pressure of having to keep my house clean, meals made every day, etc. It sucks.
So what do you think? Are we as a society putting unrealistic goals on women today to be perfect wives and mothers?
Yes. Although I read memoirs by moms who lived during wars, during the Depression, as refugees - we do have it easy in a sense. However, I feel your pain; hang in there! I hear they go off to college at some point!
ReplyDeleteI am sorry you are feeiling taken advantage of. I have to say it is the same way here but when I say it's time to chip in, or you need to pick up your stuff the girls do it. I have also taken their things ways if they are left on the floor or in the wrong palce.
ReplyDeleteWe set ourselves up for this by always being there and doing it, you know that right? THey wouldn't expect it if we weren't always right there.
I hope you can teach them to chip in.
Dawn. If I take it away, my kids don't miss it. That's why I finally decided and said in my blog post that if they didn't start picking their stuff up and I had to do it, I would sell it for profit to send myself on a vacation. That may be the only way to really get through to them.
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